September 4, 2019
*header image taken from gfycat.com*
From time to time, during the course of human events, people could become curious as to what their favorite video game characters would do and enjoy in the real world. Allow me to introduce case study #1.
We’ve all seen the gif: A BOTW themed Princess Zelda is tired of waiting for her man to save her, so she flicks open a bottle of what looks like fireball spiced whiskey and guzzles it down, and that got me thinking. Without any realistic knowledge of Zelda, being the fictional character that she is, how could I determine what her drink of choice would actually be?
First let’s take a moment to rule out the obvious drinks by disregarding the occupational roles she’s played throughout the series. She was Tetra the pirate in at least three of the titles, so that automatically rules out any variation of rum, seeing as that would be too easy. Next, seeing as her first incarnation from the Goddess Hylia in Skyward Sword caught up to her as a college student, it would be too simple to suggest she shotguns beers and does keg stands in her free time also. Although, *studies do show that the drink of choice among women in College is actually wine. At least they did in 2011 when Skyward Sword came out. Also, with her being a “Goddess”, lets go ahead and rule out the Nectar of the Gods (Mead, fermented from honey) as well.
Next, we need a way to analyze her character so we can get to know her better. Luckily enough, I have a book that details master characters for creating fictional characters, so I’ll just compare her to one of those. Perfect, I found one: The Female Messiah. According to the text, a Female Messiah(FM) may not know her connection to the divine, but is driven to accomplish something important and she gives freely of herself knowing that she’ll get what she gives threefold…sounds like a Zelda archetype to me. One of the assets of the FM is that they care for others more they care for themselves. Given this, she probably doesn’t depend a whole lot on taste. All she would care about is that the person she’s drinking with is having a good time, which more than likely means, she’s drinking whatever they are, so she is used to an array of different flavors.
One of the fears of this archetype, is that they are afraid of running out of time before they fulfill their missions. With this in mind, we can probably rule out the occurrence of cocktails in her personal preferences, assuming that she isn’t as inclined to take the time to mix drinks together since she’s always working on a clock. So, now we have essentially ruled out any kind of mixed drink as well as anything decadently sweet.
Now, lets look at her role as a Princess (I swear I’m almost done here). Her alliances are with the Good, which I’m sure we can all agree with for the most part. I believe something could be said about the color of the alcohol she drinks. I, personally, believe she would not associate herself with a dark liquor like whiskey or bourbon. I would think her royal status and, generally light-colored wardrobe, would hint that she might enjoy a lighter colored (clear) alcoholic drink. Also, clear alcohols produce less intense hangovers and are usually lower in calories (she needed to stay fit to play the part of Sheik, remember?). This brings us to only a handful of choices that don’t include rum: Vodka, Gin, Everclear, and random transparent drinks like Vermouth.
Lastly, without creating too many fissures in the space-time continuum, I want to take Vermouth and Everclear out of that list, which leaves us with just Gin and Vodka. Gin makes sense because it was first introduced as a medicine before it became a liquor, and as a healer herself, Zelda could be partial to it. Vodka makes sense because its distilled from grains like wheat, which are very abundant in most LoZ titles, so it may represent Hyrule in her mind. But there can only be one.
I want to harken back to the moment when the Goddess Hylia came down from the heavens to ask for a hero at the very beginning of the whole storyline. After Link takes her challenge and dies for the cause, his final words as he lay sprawled against the rocks were, “My spirit will always be with you.”
Zelda’s favorite drink would probably be a spirit, and she would most likely have no idea why. Gin is a spirit. And as I mentioned before, as a healer, she would be more inclined to use Gin, which uses Juniper berries (also first used as a medicine).
With that, I rest my case. Zelda’s favorite drink is Gin.
*The study I am referring to is an academic journal written in 2011 which studies the drink of choice for men and women in College living in European countries (don’t ask).