December 5, 2018
Link curled into bed on Christmas Eve night,
After having just won a most epic fight,
Since Ganon was slain,
Our hero could remain,
Tucked into his warm blanket ever so tight.
As he rested his eyes for hardly a second,
He heard from the next room Zelda had beckoned,
Her call sounded urgent,
So quickly he went,
With sword and shield just in case, so he reckoned.
“Link,” she gasped when he entered the hall,
“I heard a burglar just outside my wall,”
In his Triforce pajamas,
He’d settle the drama,
So out on the Castle roof did he crawl.
With a clunk and a clank, a stranger in armor,
Upon the roof that night had sauntered,
Link found him out,
So without a doubt,
His newfound foe he surely would slaughter.
From the pocket of his PJs he grabbed his Hookshot,
And grappled up quickly to a good nearby spot,
The foe turned about,
And Link gave a shout,
His well-known battle cry, a hearty “HYAAT!”
The assailant’s armor gleamed under the moonlight,
With an odd color scheme of red and of white,
And an enormous belly
Wiggled like jelly,
And just like that, he vanished from sight.
Where the stranger had stood sat a fat red sack,
Which he had been carrying up on his back,
Inside peered Link,
And boxes green and pink,
Were packed with a note signed in gold ink.
“Link and Zelda, you were wonderful this year,
You saved Hyrule from pain, woe, and fear,
We thank you very much,
Merry Christmas and such,
I hope that you fancy these presents, my dears!”
Inside after this debacle confounding,
Zelda’s words with joy through the halls were resounding,
“Oh, Link, did you see?
It was Goron Claus, he,
To be seen in the flesh set my heart a-pounding!!”
Zelda cut the ribbons, quickly slicing and slitting,
And they unwrapped the paper, perfectly fitting,
Within were two whole,
Lumps of black coal,
And a note that said “Don’t eat it all in one sitting.”